Monday, June 18, 2012
Going Home
It's hard to believe that today was 6 weeks since Trenton's heart surgery, and tomorrow he is finally headed home. You might not believe me, but it really has flown by. In some ways it seems like we've been here forever, but at the same time it feels like I had him yesterday.
There have been so many ups and downs in the last 6 weeks. The heart surgery was difficult, but the ups and downs after this and the feeling that we might not be able to handle our son's care were even harder. It is important to remember though that the opinions of man are just that- opinions. A doctor who was giving such a negative prognosis a few weeks ago, was almost jovial the other day as we talked about going home.
We're so thankful that in those most difficult times we were not alone. Yes Ryan and I had each other and our parents, but even more than that we had our heavenly Father who assures us that He is sovereign and in control of our future and the future of our children. He helps us take one day at a time and look at Trenton with hope.
When people ask if we're excited to go home, I can say that we are. I usually add an additional, "excited and nervous", but today as I was chatting with a social worker, she said, that they would be wondered about me if I wasn't nervous. Thinking about that now, maybe it would have been a good thing if I wasn't nervous and they did wonder about me. Maybe they would have better seen Christ in me. It's hard to say.
My natural inclination is to fret and be anxious. The Lord has helped me so much during this time to not be that way. It is important as we go home that I apply the same attitude to this as to other situations. Tonight I told the Lord that I couldn't do this alone, and He clearly reminded me that I'm not- He's with me. I decided to write about it:
You're Not Alone
Sometimes when life seems overwhelming
The strength within seems small;
The world will tell you to believe in yourself,
But that is no help at all.
When you cry to the Lord for help,
Tell Him you can't do it alone.
He'll kindly remind you that He put you here,
That He's been by your side all along.
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Hi Stephanie, this is Mason's mom from "masonjosias.blogspot.com" . Thanks for your comment on my blog! After Mason was first born, the first actual syndrome suspected that we heard about was CHARGE (because of his eyes and other malformations). However, when we saw genetics, they felt that although he may always have what is called "CHARGE Association" (where he appears to have some of the features clinically), they do not think he would turn up positive on the actual mutation test. So they haven't tested for it, or any other mutation (because they want to have a strong enough reason to test for a particular syndrome, and so far they think his syndrome is either new or very untypical of the usual ones). The chromosome abnormality he has does not involve any of the known CHARGE geens (but they aren't sure if the deletion is causing his syndrome or not). However, we will hopefully be able to rule in or out the CHARGE mutation later this fall, when we go to NIH for further testing. I sent you a friend request on Facebook...your Trenton is a cutie (and your other son too!) Looking forward to chatting with you there! :) thanks again, Jen
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