Realizations

It's easy to go through life and get used to depending on the wrong things.

As a child, I questioned my motives and thoughts about so many things. This often stemmed from not trusting the Lord but trusting my feelings. Sometimes I questioned my salvation because I was trusting in what I was thinking or feeling when I trusted Christ. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I came to the realization that it was all Christ and not me. That was a very freeing moment in my life.

As the years have gone by, a variety of challenges have caused me to seek Christ more than in times of ease. Most often it was relationships ending that drove me back to dependence on Christ. Now being married, different challenges come to draw me closer to the Lord. I'm sure there will be many through the years, but right now it has been my pregnancy. As I said, I am always questioning, wondering, and researching. I tell people this is because I enjoy research, but in the last few days I've come to the realizaiton that the reason I often research is because I'm not trusting Christ to take care of me the way I know He does. I feel like I have to know what has happened, what could happen, how to prevent this or that from happening. Knowledge isn't a bad thing, but the Bible says in Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways aknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." So though it is a part of my natural make up to learn new things, research, and question, I need to harness that tendency that could lead to worry.