While I was growing up, I often struggled with worry. I worried about a myriad of things. When I trusted Christ as my Savior, my senior year of high school, that is something that I think I saw change the most. I had been a "good" girl for the most part, but worry was the sin that beset me the most. When I trusted Christ, I did not stop worrying, but I think it definitely improved. I grew even more in this area when I was a sophmore at Maranatha Baptist Bible College and learned about God's grace and sovereignty. Why do I need to worry when God is in control? These were all good lessons.
Fast forward twelve years, and a lot has happened in my life. I finished my bachelor's degree and Master's degree at Bob Jones University, got married, and I have had two children. With these milestones, worry has attached itself to many areas of my life over the years. More recently it has been with the birth of our 2nd son who has a genetic abnormality called CHARGE syndrome. I find myself often being overly conscious of germs and less conscious of the sovereignty of God in this situation. I find myself worrying about his breathing being too noisy, too dry, or another worry that is similar.
We are getting ready to make a major move in our lives this weekend. My husband has been called to be the senior pastor at a church in New York. I will be his secretary and will be serving in other areas of the church as well as continuing to write for work and for fun when I have time. With this move and all of the business that goes with any move, I have found worry, like a leech, attaching itself to me, tempting me to be crabby, not as loving as I should, and most of all, showing that I am not trusting Christ.
Today, as I was watching our little one and worrying about various issues he was having today, I was afraid of the unknown, the what ifs, and I so I prayed. Too often we wait until that moment when we are overwhelmed to talk to the Lord, and too often I know that I just ask God to make everything okay. We talk to him like we would talk to the genie that came out of the lamp. We pray like we deserve it. Today, I prayed for mercy from the Lord to keep our family healthy. Mercy is something we do not deserve. None of us deserve what we have, but it is only by the mercy and grace of God that we have it. Thank the Lord for your health, and when things do not look good or you are concerned about the future, ask for mercy.
If you are interested in reading more about our journey with our newest little one, you can follow me at morethanastatisticforhim.blogspot.com.
Showing posts with label trusting God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trusting God. Show all posts
Friday, March 8, 2013
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Realizations
It's easy to go through life and get used to depending on the wrong things.
As a child, I questioned my motives and thoughts about so many things. This often stemmed from not trusting the Lord but trusting my feelings. Sometimes I questioned my salvation because I was trusting in what I was thinking or feeling when I trusted Christ. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I came to the realization that it was all Christ and not me. That was a very freeing moment in my life.
As the years have gone by, a variety of challenges have caused me to seek Christ more than in times of ease. Most often it was relationships ending that drove me back to dependence on Christ. Now being married, different challenges come to draw me closer to the Lord. I'm sure there will be many through the years, but right now it has been my pregnancy. As I said, I am always questioning, wondering, and researching. I tell people this is because I enjoy research, but in the last few days I've come to the realizaiton that the reason I often research is because I'm not trusting Christ to take care of me the way I know He does. I feel like I have to know what has happened, what could happen, how to prevent this or that from happening. Knowledge isn't a bad thing, but the Bible says in Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways aknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." So though it is a part of my natural make up to learn new things, research, and question, I need to harness that tendency that could lead to worry.
As a child, I questioned my motives and thoughts about so many things. This often stemmed from not trusting the Lord but trusting my feelings. Sometimes I questioned my salvation because I was trusting in what I was thinking or feeling when I trusted Christ. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I came to the realization that it was all Christ and not me. That was a very freeing moment in my life.
As the years have gone by, a variety of challenges have caused me to seek Christ more than in times of ease. Most often it was relationships ending that drove me back to dependence on Christ. Now being married, different challenges come to draw me closer to the Lord. I'm sure there will be many through the years, but right now it has been my pregnancy. As I said, I am always questioning, wondering, and researching. I tell people this is because I enjoy research, but in the last few days I've come to the realizaiton that the reason I often research is because I'm not trusting Christ to take care of me the way I know He does. I feel like I have to know what has happened, what could happen, how to prevent this or that from happening. Knowledge isn't a bad thing, but the Bible says in Proverbs 3:5,6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, lean not to thine own understanding. In all thy ways aknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." So though it is a part of my natural make up to learn new things, research, and question, I need to harness that tendency that could lead to worry.
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